most private thing im willing to admit: im not good at estimating how much pasta is enough for one person
there’s a tool for that
I’m sorry, does that scale progress from a child to a HORSE?
I love pirates because they have no concept on albeism. oh you have no leg? here have a peg leg. no hand?? well guess we gotta put a hook on that, give those sons of bitches a surprise. Blind in one eye, put an eyepatch on no one fucking cares, youre deaf??? go man the canons you glorious bastard.They dont care if youre disabled bcus as long as you can fuck shit up they literally dont fucking care.
I never thought about it this way. This is beautiful.
no but imagine if you drank too much at a bar and then passes out on the floor and no-one could find your pulse so hours later you woke up in the ER or worse a morgue
Dude fake murders. Frame people. Scare the shit out of everyone. Pretend to be dead.
fail gym because you dont have a pulse for them to measure
CPR class: “can i have a volunteer?”
Halloween…be a zombie. Without a pulse. Hell yes.
… How could you possibly not have a pulse if blood were pulsing through your veins? I’m not a doctor but I think that has to be happening for you to live.
It’s because the blood flows continuously instead of in bursts.
It is called a ventricular assist device (VAD). It is used to replace the function of a failing heart or for short term use, typically for patients recovering from heart attacks or heart surgery.
do you have a friend who’s usually a sweetheart but when they’re angry they’re the creepiest and the most cruel motherfucker you ever saw in your whole life
i am that friend
Bluest Fish I’ve Ever Seen
It seems aware of its blueness and unable to process it.
"How did someone see me?"
//This began the rise of Aperture Science.
SPRTIZ THIS SHIT ON YOUR DICK AND YOUR E HARD FOR LIFETHAT IS NOT THE INTENDED USE, SIR
SPRAY IT ON YOUR NIPPLES
U L T I M A T E N I P P L E S
T H A T I S N O T T H E I N T E N D E D U S E S I R
i never wanted this to end